Personal Log, Stardate 06.09.2402:

Captain Sophia Rodriguez recording…

The USS Carlsbad safely arrived at Starbase 72 and will be put into drydock for refit/rebuild/repair. My husband has authorized the whole crew for extended shore leave, but restricted to Starbase 72 pending a full debrief for Starfleet Command. Starbase Command staff has informed us that a new Ship’s Counselor has been attached to the USS Carlsbad. All senior officers have orders to go through a mandatory psychological evaluation before receiving new orders. My evaluation will be mostly about the loss of my crew and my ship. A general inquiry hearing has already been scheduled for after my evaluation. To be honest, I’m not looking forward to rehashing those wounds, but I have to agree with the new Ship’s Counselor, that talking about my feelings is a good idea. My supportive husband will be going with me, to give me support. He told me he would go even if I ordered him not to. I know him well.

End Personal Log.

Captains Kirok Skyrunner and Sophia Rodriguez both left their quarters, each a bag of a few personal items. They disembarked the ship and headed to the temporary office for Lieutenant JG Elara Vonn, Ship’s Counselor for the USS Carlsbad. They walked into the office together and were met by an Ensign who was the receptionist.

“Greetings Captains. How can I help you this morning?”

“I am Captain Sophia Rodriguez. I am here to see Lieutenant JG Elara Vonn.”

“Ahh, yes Captain. She is waiting for you. If you will follow me.” The Ensign looked at Kirok. “Captain, you may wait here, if you wish.”

Kirok nodded, sitting down in a chair in the waiting area. The Ensign led Sophia into the inner office. There was a young looking lady behind a desk when the Ensign and Sophia walked inside.

“Lieutenant JG Elara Vonn, this is Captain Sophia Rodriguez,” the Ensign introduced them both to each other.

Elara stood up and walked around her desk, greeting Sophia with a warm handshake.

“Good morning Captain.” Elara looked at the Ensign. “That is all Ensign. You are dismissed.”

The Ensign left Elara’s office. Sophia shook Elara’s outstretched hand.

“Morning Counselor. I heard you are now attached to the USS Carlsbad. Congratulations on your first ship posting,” Sophia said.

“Thank you Captain. I received your personal file and the computer reports from the USS Carlsbad,” Elara said, as she gestured for Sophia to sit on the comfortable couch in the inner office. “I know that this might be hard for you, but I want to help you process your feelings about what happened. Plus Starfleet Command needs the evaluations done ASAP.”

“I am aware of what Command wants Counselor. Can we just start please? I already don’t feel comfortable doing this. I’m only really here because Command ordered me to be here.”

Captain Sophia Rodriguez sat on the couch, in the counselor’s office, her eyes fixed on the calm, serene environment that Lieutenant Junior Grade Elara Vonn had carefully curated. The soft hum of the Starbase’s systems and the gentle glow of the luminescent panels created a sense of tranquility, a stark contrast to the turmoil that had been brewing inside Sophia.

Elara Vonn, who was told by her instructors that she is a compassionate and understanding counselor. Elara sat across from Sophia, her eyes filled with empathy. She patiently waited for Sophia to make the first move.

“Captain, it’s okay to feel overwhelmed. Processing grief is a journey, and it’s different for everyone,” she said gently.

Sophia’s gaze drifted downward, her eyes welling up with tears as she struggled to find the words and how to start. Her eyelids fluttered, as if trying to hold back the emotions that threatened to spill over, while her lips parted slightly, a silent gasp escaping as she searched for a starting point. The weight of her grief seemed to settle heavily on her shoulders, her posture subtly shifting as the burden bore down on her. She fidgeted with her hands, the gentle movement a testament to her inner turmoil. The soft hum of the counselor’s office and the gentle glow of the luminescent panels seemed to fade into the background as Sophia’s focus narrowed to the overwhelming emotions swirling inside her. With a deep breath, she attempted to steady herself, her voice barely above a whisper as she began to speak, the words tumbling out in a slow, measured pace, like the first tentative notes of a melancholic melody.

Elara leaned forward, her voice filled with warmth. Her body language shifted subtly, conveying engagement and attentiveness. Elara was creating a sense of closeness and connection. Her voice was rich and soothing. It took on a gentle, empathetic tone, wrapping around Sophia’s emotions like a comforting blanket. The warmth in her voice was palpable, infused with a deep understanding and compassion that seemed to envelop Sophia, making her feel seen and heard.

“I keep thinking I should be stronger,” she whispered, her voice barely audible. “I’m the captain. I’m supposed to lead…to protect my crew.”

Elara nodded understandingly. Her expression is a gentle blend of empathy and compassion. Her eyes, warm and reassuring, locked onto Sophia’s, conveying a deep sense of connection and reassurance. Elara’s nod was almost imperceptible, yet it spoke volumes. It acknowledges the weight of Sophia’s emotions and the complexity of her grief. Elara’s posture remained open and engaged, her body language exuding a sense of calm and centeredness that helped to create a safe space for Sophia to express herself. The soft, supportive smile that accompanied the nod was a testament to Elara’s training and experience as a counselor, and it helped to put Sophia at ease, encouraging her to open up and share her feelings.

“Grief doesn’t discriminate based on rank or position, Captain. You’ve experienced a tremendous loss, and it’s normal to feel the weight of that responsibility.”

Sophia’s eyes snapped back up, her expression a mix of pain and anger. Her gaze intensified, the pain evident in the creases around her eyes and the tightness of her jaw. The anger flashed like a spark, illuminating the depths of her raw emotions. The sudden movement seemed to underscore the turmoil brewing inside her, as if the emotions had been simmering just below the surface, waiting to erupt. Her eyes, once downcast, now blazed with a fierce intensity. The pain and anger intensified, like a warp core going critical, threatening to breach. Her raw emotions threatened to overwhelm her. The vulnerability she had momentarily revealed had put Sophia into a more assertive, almost defensive posture. She was steeling herself against the weight of her emotions, or perhaps against the possibility of being judged or misunderstood. The words Sophia spilled out were laced with self-doubt and regret.

“I should have seen it coming. I should have protected them better,” Sophia said.

“Captain, you did everything you could with the resources you had. The destruction of your ship was a catastrophic event, and it’s not uncommon for survivors to replay the what-ifs in their minds. It is essential to recognize that you made decisions based on the information available to you at the time.”

Sophia’s shoulders began to shake as the weight of her emotions finally broke through the surface.

“I keep seeing their faces,” she whispered, tears streaming down her cheeks. “The crew I had come to care for, to trust…they are all gone. I’m left with the guilt of surviving.”

Elara’s expression softened further, before she replied. “You’re not just surviving, Captain. You’re carrying the legacy of your crew with you. It’s okay to acknowledge the pain, but also remember the good times, the laughter, and the camaraderie. Those memories are a testament to the bond you shared with your crew.”

As Sophia wept, Elara offered a comforting presence, her words a gentle reminder that it was okay to feel the depth of her emotions. The session was a crucial step in Sophia’s journey toward healing, a process that would take time, patience, and support.

“I feel like a part of me is gone,” Sophia said, her voice cracking. “Like I’m just going through the motions, waiting for…I don’t know, for something to fill the void.”

Elara nodded. “That’s a natural feeling, Captain. The loss you’re experiencing is profound. It’s like navigating uncharted space. You don’t know what’s ahead, but you have to keep moving forward. I’m here to support you through that journey.”

As the session drew to a close, Sophia took a deep breath, feeling a small sense of relief wash over her. She knew the road ahead would be long and difficult, but with Elara’s help, she felt a glimmer of hope that she might find a way to heal and move forward, honoring the memory of her crew and the ship they had called home.

“Thank you Counselor. I feel a little better now. I know that this is going to be a long, tough road. All I can do is take it one step at a time,” Sophia said, wiping her tears away.

“You are welcome, Captain.”

“Sophia…you can call me Sophia.”

Elara smiled as both women stood up. Elara gave Sophia a warm, friend embrace.

“This was a good start. I think we will need a few more sessions. Can we do one session a week,” Elara asked.

Sophia thought it over. She nodded. “Yes, that is a good plan.”

“Good. I will see you again next week Sophia.”

Sophia nodded, then walked out of the inner office. Kirok saw her eyes were red and he stood up. He walked to her, embracing her.

“Are you ok sweetheart,” Kirok asked her.

She looked into his eyes. “No, but I think I will be ok.”

Kirok understood what she meant. “Let’s go have dinner and talk, if you want to?”

Sophia kissed him softly. “I’d love that.”